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By Derrick
Designderrick.com
Halloween Hades
It's that time of year again. Fall. We are well in to the month of October,
and whose thoughts do not turn to coffins, plague and dismemberment? Yes, setting the scene for that ghoulish night. All -Hollow's
eve.
As always, thoughts journey back in time to my first Halloween with the “A”’s.
You remember them from my first blog. The nouveau riche type “A “personalities whose antics propelled me through
psychotherapy.
Several months into my first year working with the “A”s, October
reared its ugly head. My initial thoughts were of beautiful fall foliage, cornucopia of fruit and my new suede boots. They
are chocolate and I love them.
The "A"s on the other hand had other thoughts. It seems that in suburbia, one
recreates one's home into some sort of scary theme park experience. Enter the "Tower of Terror". That's what happens when
you turn a Red brick two story bastardized Georgian into a Haunted House. I wasn't really haunted. Well, does bad taste haunt
or linger….. Hmmm?
So we're off to Market, in their private plane, to procure everything one
needs for such an undertaking. I dressed in black and wore dark glasses for the occasion. A gothic feel. Truthfully
I didn't want anyone to recognize me .The procurer of life size skeletons and witches and the perfunctory "larger than life"
spider and web. Their ideas, not mine. My head aching, my eyes blurred and bloodshot, I felt as if I had been completely drained
of life. I kept checking my neck in the mirror for teeth marks!
No time for sleep. I would have to come up with a plan of attack. I enlisted
my dark coven of workers, lighting designers, upholsterers. I would create a scene that even acclaimed designer Tony Duquette
would be proud of.
There would be blood red upholstered walls, aged Venetian mirrors draped in
shrouds, and ornate frames shedding their layers of gold like some gilded serpent. Darkened silver candelabra's and Smoky
apothecary jars filled with specimens of dubious origins. Upon the windows and casements would be heavy brocade drapes blocking
out any hint of light, sky or air. Decadent fabrics on pillows would gather in corners, slowly moldering away to a pile of
sequins, feathers and dust. Mrs. "A" was eager to provide the sequins and feathers. We shredded her last season's couture
gowns; I try to use recycled products on all of my design projects.
Normally I would never think of shopping
at the taxidermist for one of my clients; however I thought a few exotic hides would be fabulous, for effect. I mentioned
this to the male “A”, let's call him Alpha male. He said, shucks. I have a whole warehouse full of stuffed
exotics from many a compulsory hunting safari.” I thought, “ Ok, of course you do!
Moving on, All Hollow's eve approached. I and my ghoulish team had created the dark brooding setting for the “A”s
fabulous evening. The vampire's La Stat and Nosferatu would be pleased with the appointments of these rooms.
I would of course not attend. I did have that fabulous eighteenth century top
coat that I purchased from a vintage clothing store last year. No. I would not attend. I liken myself to “Gatsby”
in these situations. Create the fabulous setting for party but having the good taste not to attend.
That having
been said, Great design deserves its place no matter what the setting, mood or season.
So I was caught between two
type “A” personalities , and both ADHD to boot….Add First generation money and a lust for acquiring mulit-generational
taste and prominence. Voila…... Design Hades
I was a little nervous in the interview I must admit…The “
A” ’s , we will call them, insisted I meet with them immediately. A Design emergency…? I agreed to meet
the next day…..
While seated in an uncomfortable chair , upholstered in an uncomfortable leopard print, in the
formal dining room of their multi room Mc Mansion , as the sunlight filtered through the poly-rayon lace that adorned the
multi-swagged draperies… I felt a definite uneasiness accompanied by slight nausea.
The "A" Couple revealed to
me that this room had been the result of their last designer….Designer number sixteen in the last four years…God
rest her soul… I thought perhaps the last designer had suffered a small stroke or had simply been put in a home …I
send her flowers periodically .By the way….
My uneasiness quickly turned to pity and my need to save these unfortunates
overwhelmed me… Damn my need to rescue and to achieve world peace through good design… I took their job and their
hefty retainer check and said my farewells…..
As I drove away from the two story red brick Georgian nightmare,
my bemusement turned to confidence… I knew I could transform both their architectural nightmare as well as its inhabitants…I
would need to retain the services of Professionals, Experts, the finest craftsman .
It did occur to me that I had not
asked for a large enough retainer… I would need to see my psychotherapist at least twice a week now….These were
lovely people …Good stock …really ! I thought, I would at least sleep on the idea of taking the job before depositing
their retainer
check…
That was six years ago…. I just finished my last project for the “ A”’s
. A mega mansion rehab in the most prominent of neighborhoods….Why I lasted so long… ? It’s a mystery really…
Talent? Of course !… Patience mostly! … Weekly visits and emergency calls to my psychotherapist !
My therapist
and I have become very close over the past six years… Yes, six years , three months and twelve days….
I have always felt that I there were certain indicators
as to a persons character and persona…A window to their soul.. The journey of the life that person lead etc… The
indicators…. Here are a few of mine: Shoes, Refrigerator, medicine cabinet , closet, Bedside chest…. Bookshelves.
Hmmm… Books…. I just did a quick scan of my collection of books. What did the books on my shelves say about me
? Yikes ! I think its time to edit...
What do the books on your shelves say about you ? Take a moment to view your
inventory… Are you Fiction, Non Fiction, Self Help, Documentary, Fantasy, Science Fiction, Mystery, Romance etc. What’s
your story ?
I did a little research on the subject…thought it might be amusing . I came across The Artist Nina
Katchadourian …..See photo’s. ninakatchadourian.com Apparently the bindings on your books can tell a story too…If their titles are arranged properly…
Take
another look at the books on your shelves… What story can you create using the book titles on the bindings of your favorite
books…? Have some fun… Create something spectacular or unexpected…. Leave a message. Tell a story and see
if anyone is paying attention !
Read more of kellys postings here.
Human obsession with time has often resulted in him making gigantic structures that not only measure time but also remind
everyone how precious every second is. One such example would be this astoundingly beautiful ‘Big Time’ LED Watch Table. Created by designer Lee J. Rowland, the Table comes fully equipped with a functioning watch for a surface with seconds and
date viewed with touch buttons as they would in any real watch. The stunning fact is that the giant watch is also a fully
functional table with ultra-slim utility drawers and programmable LED clock that displays clock time or message in a maximum
of 8 characters. Crafted in satinized stainless steel, the watch-table can also be customized with chrome and gold exteriors
and draws on a 240 volt supply to function. Staggering isn’t it?
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